Are you really a “grown woman”?


      When I turned 21 you couldn’t tell me nothing. I’ve been living away from my mom for 3 years and I was entering my final year of undergrad. I thought I was grown and I had everything figured out in life, or so I thought. When I started dating my boyfriend I really thought I was grown, didn’t really have to answer to my mom about my whereabouts, spending the night, just simply being grown or as my momma would say being fresh. It didn’t hit me until I was getting ready to have my daughter that this whole time I’ve been doing grown up things but I was not a grown woman. It was when I began raising my daughter were I realized how much growing up I truly needed to do. Ladies we all have been there were we experience freedom from our parents, and have the free will to do what we please and truly thinking we’re grown women. It’s in that moment were adulthood slaps the shit out of us back in to reality and remind us that we are not grown women just yet.

     Being a grown woman is more than just handling your business, taking care of your bills, providing for yourself  and your family, that’s what we’re supposed to do. Do not expect any trophies or congratulatory speeches for something you’re require to make sure you do. We do these thing so we’re taking care of ourselves and our family. Being a grown woman is how you carry yourself, how you respond to drama and those who bring negativity, staying above those who doubt your power, staying focus on what most important in life and,  being able to self-reflect  and become a better person not only for yourself but for your child. Being a grown woman is truly putting your priorities first and aligning what’s most important and pushing what’s less important to the side.


     Now I’m not saying I’m the representation of a grown woman because I still have my days that shows me  how much more growing up I need to do but I don’t quit. I keep pushing forward. Before my daughter came into my world my attitude was off the charts and mouth didn’t make situations better for me. Even though I was selfless at times I was still a very selfish person. It was hard for me to open up and be vulnerable. I would shut the person out before I allowed them to see that intimate part of me. I thought I was enjoying life to the fullest. At the ultrasound we all as mothers to be are desperately looking forward to finding the out the sex of the baby. Once I realized I was having a girl I had a serious self reflection and reality check. I didn’t want my daughter to have my shitty attitude or my “sailor” mouth. I didn’t want my daughter to be mean but not a punk either. I had to make those changes not only for myself but for her as well. My boyfriend and I was going through so much drama but I wanted my daughter to know that her mother is persistent, fighting a good fight and not giving up. I wanted my daughter to see that as long you don’t give up you can never fail. I wanted my daughter to be able to grow up in a home I didn’t get the chance to have, to have both her parents in the same house who genuinely love each other.

     It’s your prerogative on how you handle your life, your family, and your priorities. If you handle your life different from mines that’s okay. One thing I can say because I experienced it, it’s easy to consider ourselves grown women but it’s the challenge for some of us who have a hard time implementing and showing the growth from the person who were yesterday to who we are today. Some of us have it in our mind because we go to work, make money, and do what we need to do that makes us a “grown woman.” We fail to realize that having that mentality can keep us stuck in our childish ways preventing us to getting to that next stage in life. Ladies we have to challenge ourselves and be as great as we can be. We will never reach our fullest potential as long as we keep holding ourselves back. So now the question remains are you a grown woman?




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